Deadline …..

You sit there and wonder what life would be like. I feel like I have to ALWAYS hide everything from everyone! Why are you all up in my space. You don’t need to search my room like it’s some scavenger hunt. I’m getting tired of people in my business. I just want to break away from it all.  Let me just wall away as if I don’t know you! I’ll claim my shit on my own. Don’t you worry about me! Your always saying stuff like,” why don’t you ever go out and people your age go out and have friends”. Your alwAys home! I’m tired of all your shit! You piss me off to the max and I just want to run and never come back! You tell me I need to get out by June 1. If I go I won’t ever look back.  I’ll do my own thing and I’ll be my responsibility! Deadline is starting to be my countdown 

This is my end….

I sit here confused, angry, hurt, worthless, and not good enough. I have been tryi g to get my life in order. You calling me names and calling me unreliable and other names it hurts me. You tell me you want me out of the house. Like if I get my own place I won’t ever look back. I’m tired of all this. I feel weak.  Let me die right here and now!  I’m numb and easily able to break . I’m about to snap, I’m done with this life.. Just take me away!!! You say you want me to quit my job that I just got!!! I’m done!!! Just take me away!!

Three weeks….

I’ve been unemployed for almost two months now! I’ve been looking everywhere for jobs! Nothing seems to match what I’m looking for! My mother is sitting there yelling and calling me names as if I’m not doing anything with my life ! It hurts because I’m doing the best I can ! I don’t have any answers ! She’s saying that she’s going to make me go live with my grandparents ! I love them, but they won’t let out of the house ever!! I’m just tired of everything! I don’t know my purpose anymore !  Confused, lost, hurt, and weak. Putting this in gods hands so please help me!

Shawty❤️

Worthless 😭😭

Have you ever felt like you could never do right! You try and try to do right! You try to better yourself. You sit there badger me and wish hurtful things to me. And you freaaking run your mouth to other people. I just want to fade away as if I wasn’t there! I have a very small ego, confidence, and esteem as it is. I know I’m not good enough for anyone and you saying the things you do makes me want to fade away!  I’m weak and a failure! I don’t know what to do anymore !  Just going to fade away and isolate myself and hide because that’s my hide away! I want to fade away and get lost !! I don’t have much left of me! I’m broken!!! 

Shawty ❤️

My life is falling apart….

I know the scariest part is letting go. I’m trying not to get to close to anyone so I don’t hurt myself or others around me! I don’t know what to do or who to turn to! I want to go somewhere and recreate my identity and try to get a fresh start and control who I am! Everything that is happening to me is making my life fall apart and hurting my heart! I just feel so weak and useless ! And I am

Not good enough or I’m to broken for you! I know life isn’t always red roses and rose colored glasses! I’m not blind, I’m

Just tired of my life falling to part! I’m tired of fighting to be happy and putting a smile on my face ! It’s just making me numb more and more! I feel like I lost all sense of control! I don’t know what to do or who to turn to! I just need to get out of this! It feels like everything is ruined! I’ve laid down my heart more than once and I got the boot anyway! I’ve done nothing wrong except love the people who I was and am suppose to love! Give me guidance so I don’t break my heart anymore or it beat fast and faster ! 

Shawty. ❤️

“What is love, how do you spell love?” – Winnie the Pooh “you just feel it”

Each day you sit there you see couples holding hands, kissing, and etc. Peoe say they love one another! Everytime you say” I love you ” it means something different to everyone!  Like don’t know what love is and what it feels like because I’ve been hurt many times! I’ve had an ex that ran his mouth and said,”I never loved her or never truly cared for her”. It stings! So at this point I’ll continue to love my family, friends, and myself!  Please don’t throw it around like it’s nothing! 

Shawty ❤️

Pain, hurt, and used ! 

In life you go through a lot of emotions! Feeling broken, hurt, pained, used, and etc. You start to wonder how to accept genuine love and someone that truly cares for you! Is it fear all over again ? Maybe, I wonder why this pain stings more than others!  People tend to use for all sorts of reasons, but the one thing I want to know is why ? What do they fill by doing that ? I feel hurt and shitty and worthless! Can I ever do anything right ? Just send me a miracle or an angel to tell me what I’m doing with myself, how to get out of this whole, and etc ? Answers why ??

Shawty ❤️